what is this i don't even...

southpoleside:

HEY YOU. DO YOU SEE THIS MAN? THIS FAT, LAZY, WEAK OLD MAN? WELL, IF YOU AGREED WITH ANY OF THOSE ADJECTIVES, THEN BITCH, PLEASE, YOU BEST TAKE A STEP BACK. THIS BADASS IS UNCLE MOTHERFUCKING IROH OF THE FIRE NATION.

UNCLE IROH’S ROYAL TITLE IS THE DRAGON OF THE WEST. YOU WANNA KNOW HOW HE EARNED THAT NAME? HE WAS CONSIDERED WORTHY BY THE TWO LAST DRAGONS IN EXISTENCE TO LEARN THE SECRETS OF TRUE FIREBENDING. HE WAS EVEN A COOL ENOUGH GUY TO LIE AND SAY HE KILLED THEM TO KEEP THEIR SECRETS PROTECTED. AND YOU KNOW WHAT? UNCLE MOTHERFUCKING IROH IS SO BADASS, EVERYONE BELIEVED HIM.

EVERYONE COMES TO UNCLE IROH FOR ADVICE, BECAUSE HE IS ONE EMOTIONALLY STRONG MOTHERFUCKER. THAT BLIND KID TOPH, A TOTAL STRANGER, SAT DOWN AND HAD A FUCKING PLEASANT CUP OF TEA WITH HIM DID SOME SOUL-SEARCHING AND PERSONAL INSIGHT AND SHIT. HE GAVE ADVICE TO HER EVEN THOUGH SHE WAS ON THE OTHER SIDE, AND YOU KNOW WHAT? UNCLE IROH DIDN’T GIVE TWO SHITS, BECAUSE HE IS A GODDAMN COOL GUY. UNCLE IROH’S SON DIED IN THE WAR WHEN HE WAS A GENERAL, AND HE CHASED AFTER HIM INTO THE SPIRIT WORLD, BECAUSE UNCLE MOTHERFUCKING IROH IS ONE SWEET-ASS DAD. HE EVEN SHEDS A FEW MOTHERFUCKING MANLY TEARS IN HIS MEMORY, BECAUSE UNCLE IROH’S MAN TO KNOW IT’S OKAY TO CRY. BUT THAT BADASS OLD GUY NEVER COMPLAINS, AND NEVER LETS HIS PROBLEMS GET IN THE WAY OF OTHER PEOPLE, BECAUSE HE’S JUST MOTHERFUCKING GREAT LIKE THAT.

YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO UNCLE MOTHERFUCKING IROH? HE GOT TOSSED INTO JAIL FOR HELPING THE AVATAR. HE BETRAYED HIS HERITAGE TO HELP THE GOOD GUYS, AND GOT STUCK IN THE SLAMMER FOR IT. AND ON TOP OF THAT, HE LET HIMSELF GET CAPTURED SO HIS WEAK-ASS NEPHEW ZUKO COULD GET AWAY EASY, BECAUSE HE LOVED THE SHIT OUT OF THAT KID, EVEN WHEN HE WAS BEING EVIL. YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT, UNCLE IROH GOT TO DEFEND THE GOOD GUYS AND HIS FAMILY. AND IN JAIL, UNCLE MOTHERFUCKING IROH WASN’T GONNA LET HIMSELF GET WEAK. HE DID PUSHUPS AND SITUPS AND WORKED THE FUCK OUT. BITCH WAS TONED.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT UNCLE IROH DID WHEN HE BROKE HIMSELF OUT OF JAIL AND FINALLY GOT BACK TOGETHER WITH HIS NEPHEW? HE HUGGED THE SHIT OUT OF THAT LITTLE MOTHERFUCKER AND FORGAVE HIM FOR HIS BETRAYAL. BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT FAMILY DOES. FUCKIN’ UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND ALL THAT SHIT.

AND THE BEST PART? UNCLE MOTHERFUCKING IROH CAN BREATHE FIRE, BITCHES. TOP THAT, AZULA.

WORD OUT.